Thursday, September 16, 2010

PSALTY!



*From the collection of Krazy Davey and Unkle Al!

46 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=gospel+bill&aq=f

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  2. Lisa is a young Kristen Schaal.

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  3. Probably some of the best editing I've seen you guys do. Made it extra horrifying.

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  4. I guess the only way Jim J. Bullock can get into a church play is by dressing up as a Smurf Bible.

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  5. I feel like a certain ghostbuster was asked to choose his destruction before this was made.

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  6. Good god... those are some whiny ass kids! Then again, I'd be pretty whiny too if I was trapped in the wilderness with a freaky talking blue bible.

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  7. Is SALTY related to the S.A.L.T. group that Delaware's new Republican Senate Candidate was part of in the '90s?: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/christine-odonnells-1996-anti-masturbation-campaign-on-mtvs-sex-in-the-90s.php

    By the way -- I beat off to this video!

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  8. A few thoughts that passed through my head as I watched:

    Holy shit its THAT DOG!(/guy in a dog suit)

    Why are Christian kids such whiny little bitches?

    2012 girl is a hotty. Which is really wrong cause im prolly 16 years older than when she filmed that. Nooow, though...

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  9. ..."I'm too little"
    Hair pull/thumb suck I found disturbingly erotic...

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  10. Probably the best one ever. Yup.

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  11. I watched this video every day from the ages of 3-5. It explains so much...

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  12. Brilliant editing on this! Thank you for what you guys do. As a child of Evangelicals, who grew up on this insanity, it does my calloused old disillusioned heart good to see this.

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  13. The "Jesus,Jesus,Jesus" section that is looped a number of times at 0:39 could have been repeated for another hour as far as I am concerned. Hypnotic and awesome.

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  14. Totally worth the wait. I had a Psalty Bible as a kid but never saw the show. Man, and I thought the cartoon version of this fucker was creepy.

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  15. I am gonna go gouge out my eyes now, thanks.

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  16. Perfection. Moments of terrible brilliance.

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Wanna see the part where Psalty and/or the kids are mauled by a bear!

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  19. http://www.endlessyoutube.com/watch?v=DEE-q_2Kxso&start=0m39s&end=0m48s

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  20. If anyone ever asks me what child abuse feels like, I'll just show them this.

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  21. 2:08 to 2:14... um... what is the dog doing with the girl? Sketchy.

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  22. Whiny little bastards.

    I'm pretty sure this video could summon either Yog Sothoth or the horrible Angel of the Thousand Hands from the Colby video (or so I hath dubbed it). Awesomely terrifying, thanks for the nightmares.

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  23. I think that what really sells Psalty as a character is his Cesar Romeroian decision to simply dye his 80s helmet hair blue rather then shave his head or wear a bald cap.

    Yeah, so I went to Psalty's website to find out what the deal was, and whether he ripped off Barney or vice versa, and this is what I discovered:


    How excited would your kids be if Psalty the Singing Songbook showed up at your house at bedtime with the "flying" Incredible Musiquizical Quilt® filled with colorful cartoony stories that help to hide God's Word in their hearts. Not to mention whistle-able songs designed to capture li'l big imaginations that wind kids down into dreamland. It happens! ...everytime you put on a Psalty's Sleepytime Helper®. Is it possible that kids can't wait to get to bed? Hear what others are saying about this timeless series

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  24. Classic. You could remix some of this into some bumping club groove. I'd buy the song on iTunes.

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  25. I totally saw this video as a kid! And it was just as weird and terrifying as your edits make it seem to be. Gotta love conservative Christians.

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  26. The best i have seen thus far. NEVER GET'S OLD. Thank You!

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  27. So did Psalty murder all the kids at the end, leaving but one living to write about the carnage in his Epistle of the Wildnerness?

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  28. But why is it called Psalty? I mean presumably it has something to do with Psalms.

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  29. @BenB - A Psalter, or Psaltery, is a book of Psalms. I think that's what they were going for, so right on. :D

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  30. I had a dream that Psalty raped me.

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  31. I think the weeping child at the end was the sole survivor of the inevitable massacre.

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  32. My childhood was full of cringing, it turns out.

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  33. Sweet fancy Moses, I have these videos.

    There were more Psalty movies.

    The newer ones eschewed the actual human head sticking out of the book in favor of a creepy anthropomorphic cartoon face.

    There was a sidekick also. Possibly a rat, possibly a different colored book, I cannot recall.

    Also, a big song and dance number in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

    I'm going to have to dive into my familys old VHS stash and see if we still have it.

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  34. I love it how editing has made something cheery into something kinda creepy and in a wrong sense of direction. Were those the Colby kids?

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  35. 1:30 -
    Kid A: "I'm tired!'
    Kid B: "I'm hungry!"
    Kid C: "I'm thirsty!"
    Kid D: "I wanna call my mom!"
    Psalty: (enraged) "THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!!!" (slaps the children)

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  36. When I was a child, our church Sabbath school group practiced these songs to sing for a special church service. The day of the performance our director broke the news to us that we weren't going to sing--it was cancelled. How disappointed we were. Must have been some church politics in the background occuring...

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  37. As someone who lives in Scotland I just have to compliment the amazing Scottish accent on that grasshopper thing. Glasweegian perhaps?

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  38. Where's the scene that Psalty earns his name in? shooting loads of psalty goodness on the children and making their cups runnith over with the word of the lord?

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  39. If anyone is wondering what a good example of something "kafkaesque" is, they have it right here.

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  40. It won because it is the best video in the history of video.

    When you're walkin' with EIT, you're more than able!!

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  41. HA! My school did this play when I was in elementary. I was the incredibly whiny "what are these little red bumps?" girl. So scary to look back on that. Wow...

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  42. Soooo....did Psalty lead all but one of them to a mass suicide...? Successfully creepy, fellas!

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