Wednesday, March 31, 2010

DIALUP FOR DUMMIES



CHALLENGE! Surfing jokes, like face paint on a juggalo, are an essential part of the internet instructional tape experience. We want to compile the ultimate archive of these mid-90's knee slappers, so send us your internet instructional tapes at: P.O. Box 47924, Chicago, IL 60647

Future generations will thank you.

STEPHEN BALDWIN IS... SUB DOWN!

If you're like me, you'd think watching Steve run out of oxygen would be time well spent...

And you'd be wrong.

Monday, March 29, 2010

GET TO WORK, GAMERS!

Gaming in the 90s was totally cool. Cargo pants!



Looks like somebody's been studying the Teen Biz guide to successful slang.

Friday, March 26, 2010

COP COOL



A special EIT! thanks goes out to the VHS archivists at Vulcan Video in Austin, Texas for shelving this beauty in their instructional VHS section. The next time you are in Austin stop by Vulcan Video and support your old timey local video shoppe!

THE CELEBRITY GUIDE TO WINE!

We don't have to be afraid of wine anymore! Robert Loggia will talk us through our fears.

Friday, March 19, 2010

SATAN IS MY TOUR MANAGER

When the Great Internet Drought of 2012 finally hits, who's gonna lead the sleaze metal revival? This gal. With the help of my attorney Lucifer, of course.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

THE LOTTERY GURU!

Look who's back!



For those who don't know, this dude will teach you all sorts of things about how not to make money.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

CLIPPING COUPONS FOR SELFISH REASONS

I wish I was at SXSW, but instead I'm here clipping coupons for Commodore's Tough Actin' Tinactin. Hope you are all having fun.

Friday, March 12, 2010

LET'S WATCH THOSE GIRLS!

Join Miss Cathy, Miss Deb and My Brother Bob for some real Country Fun!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

COOKIN' UP PROFITS!

Don't listen to the experts; listen to old people!

THE SUN IS GONE

Corey,
Today is our chance to say thank you for the way you brightened our lives, even though God granted you but half a life. We will all feel cheated always that you were taken from us so young and yet we must learn to be grateful that you came along at all. Only now that you are gone do we truly appreciate what we are now without and we want you to know that life without you is very, very difficult. We have all despaired at our loss over the past 24 hours and only the strength of the message you gave us through your years of giving has afforded us the strength to move forward. We will move forward. For you Corey, we will go on.
Thanks for everything,
EIT (I just don't feel like typing any exclamation points today)



Sorry about the skipping video. It was late. I was upset. And now I can't delete it. I tried, but my hand just couldn't do it. In the end, it is kind of a shitty memorial.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

PREGNANT MEN?!

I can't even bring myself to make a sarcastic comment about this one.

Monday, March 08, 2010

1.5 MINUTE BLIND SIDE!

We here at EIT! are going to side with the American people, not with some stuffy olde "academy." Our Best Picture of 2009 is the obvious choice...

Friday, March 05, 2010

JESUS HATES KLINGONS!

Here's a nice send off into the weekend, please enjoy the greatest Christian Sci-fi story ever told.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

CAN'T STOP PUNCHING!

I HIGHLY recommend seeing this whole film: 'Deadly Prey.' It's quite well known in the VHS fetish community, and for damn good reason! It's like Battle Royale meets Rambo meets Delta Force but somehow with more punching. It's the most fun I've had with my VCR since Andy and the Airwave Rangers... maybe.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

65 JERRYS!!!

The winner of the autographed Matt Matney VHS and all-time reigning EIT! superfan is the one, the only...


Destination A Go-Go not only sent us 65 Jerrys, but he also sent this lil' number here!


What a sweetheart! Thanks to everyone who has donated. Keep those Jerrys flowing!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

2.5 MINUTE LITTLE BIGFOOT!

Oh great. Running an evil logging operation is hard enough without some E.T. ripoff guilt tripping everybody with his giant lifeless eyes.

CURSE YOU LITTLE BIGFOOT!