Wednesday, January 19, 2011

3-MINUTE AMERICAN CHINATOWN!

From the director of Miami Connection! No shit!



Like Miami Connection, the stilted performances, incomprehensible character development, and awkward pacing of this "film" demand to be seen in full. That's why we'll include a DVD copy with all orders placed between now and Monday, January 24!

(PS- The sound on the movie itself is beyond awful. I cleaned it up the best I could. Sorry it still sucks.)
at

20 comments:

  1. Jarvis CockblockerJanuary 19, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    Z'Dar!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    I love how they turned the tables. Instead of an old wise Asian man they used an old fat white guy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tyler VincentJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    Where can you find Miami Connection and American Chinatown? It is morally imperative that my friends and I have film festival night at our house after seeing these beauties.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Georges St. PierreJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    Jay Leno's long lost son everybody!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I remember itJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    Wow this makes Secret of Nimh 2 look like Citizen Kane.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 19, 2011 at 8:07 AM

    Someday Robert Z'Dar's face will collapse in on itself and cause a supernova

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dragon SoundJanuary 19, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    In this movie, Robert Z'Dar looks like a cross between Mask, Robert Goulet, and Robert Z'Dar.

    ReplyDelete
  8. RavenhallowJanuary 19, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    They couldn't get Leno back, but they certainly recast the chin. Yeesh.

    >.> You guys should totally slip me a copy with my cat head shirt and Xmas special when you send those out.. <.<

    ReplyDelete
  9. martyJanuary 19, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    "I'll kill you myself, personally"

    Cuz you know that being killed shouldnt have to be totally impersonal, ya know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 7:39 AM

    dat... DAT CHIN

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    Most awkward kissing scene ever.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Richard WhittallJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    The silences were the most awkward ever. The whole of time passed through them, as well as the extremely loud jet in almost every outdoor scene.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jin Woo AkiyamaJanuary 21, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    He also directed L.A. Streetfighters which I saw in its entirety on Comcast on-demand. The fight scenes are awesome, but goddamn the dubbing is terrible and Bill "I burp at UFC 1" Wallace as Kruger is hilarious with his floppy looking kicks. Oh yeah "Have a fun guys!"

    ReplyDelete
  14. LauraJanuary 21, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    Z'Dar, my love!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Will J.January 22, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    This reminds me of the acting scenes I endured while..."studying"...at Lee University, America's largest private Christian High School.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ultra FemJanuary 26, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    That was too long. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  17. Keith OlbermannJanuary 26, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    Bill "Superfoot" Wallace had better acting than everyone in this movie.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    So a pump action shot gun defeats all martial arts? Is that the message? Glad I got 1 for when the ninjas come to my hood! Waaaaaah, HIYA! Ka-BLAMMMM! GAME OVER

    ReplyDelete
  19. django747January 30, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    I'm..... acting.....

    ReplyDelete
  20. Rowdy PiperJanuary 15, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    That white dudes face is unnaturally large.

    ReplyDelete