I love Kevin's mechanical delivery when he's talking to the milk carton. "What is this? I have not been kidnapped." Terrible child acting: always a thing of beauty.
Also, the random bit of cruelty to the old guy. Hilariously villainous.
I bought this tape for $.25 at FYE once. I wanted to send it to EIT along with my Jerry Maguires but I couldn't find it. I'd like to think that they're so committed to terrible video broke into my house and stole it for the good of the internet.
Pfft. White boys can't jump, or chase children through a greenscreen. The only way he could ever make that basket was with the powers of video editing.
Yeah, College Humor steals from everybody. Though to be fair in this case, they are ripping off the Youtuber that ripped us off and reuploaded our video without the watermark.
Epilogue: the janitor ended up buried in the creep's back yard, in several places. Though Taran Noah Smith escaped, he was never heard from again. Richie was never found, as nobody ever bothered to look for him.
Actually I'm taking Rad's side on this one - he probably DID play for the Sonics. It's a well known fact that the entire 1990-1992 starting lineup founded NAMBLA.
I wanna know if he dissed that janitor in *front* of the kids or after the kids had left, because that little black kid would have been RAGING! Or our "hero" just could be secretly hardcore racist. Votes anyone?
I know why there is used a green screen in every scene: The kid has been kidnapped and lives in the basement of the producer. They are maybe having butsex right now
So horny
ReplyDeleteI love Kevin's mechanical delivery when he's talking to the milk carton. "What is this? I have not been kidnapped." Terrible child acting: always a thing of beauty.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the random bit of cruelty to the old guy. Hilariously villainous.
obligatory boom at 2:10
ReplyDeleteImagine what would of happened if he hadn't made that shot.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, they couldn't go outside to some random patch of woods? They had to insert fake woods over a green screen?
ReplyDelete"Hi, I'm LAZER. Actually it's Childmolazer but it sounds kinda nerdy so i just use LAZER"
ReplyDeleteI bought this tape for $.25 at FYE once. I wanted to send it to EIT along with my Jerry Maguires but I couldn't find it. I'd like to think that they're so committed to terrible video broke into my house and stole it for the good of the internet.
ReplyDeleteIs that Mark from Home Improvement AND Richie from Family Matters? This is amazing.
ReplyDeleteMy parents took me to Cartonworld in Dayton when I was a kid. A pint of milk was like seven bucks.
ReplyDeletePfft. White boys can't jump, or chase children through a greenscreen. The only way he could ever make that basket was with the powers of video editing.
ReplyDeleteGuess again...
ReplyDelete...superstar.
I think the green screen in the woods (and later, in the school) was on purpose, in order to produce a dream-like, unreal atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteCalling yourself "Rad" because you want small children to think you're rad is not only creepy, but lame. You have to earn coolness.
Word verification: licsibil
hey guys. apparently collegehumor.com has taken to posting your videos without giving any credit to you guys. FYI
ReplyDeletehttp://www.collegehumor.com/video:1938533
@Anon
ReplyDeleteYeah, College Humor steals from everybody. Though to be fair in this case, they are ripping off the Youtuber that ripped us off and reuploaded our video without the watermark.
Whoa, cool green screen. Looks like a full-motion video game for Sega Cd.
ReplyDeleteIt almost looks like Don Johnson from Miami Vice, perhaps he has a child molesting younger brother...
ReplyDeleteOooooooh! So Thaaaat's what happened to the snot nosed little brat with the jerry curl from Family Matters!!!!!! I've been wondering all this time.
ReplyDeleteBoom... Boom in the shot.
ReplyDeleteNo Duane transposed as kid in the milk carton hall of fame?
ReplyDeleteWhats the deal with using a green screen for forest and street scenes?
- "I haven't been kidnapped."
ReplyDelete- "You have to come in to Cart World to see."
*hand pulls boy in*
- "*Now* you've been kidnapped."
Rad is a stud...what I wouldn't give to be invited back to his house to see his "pictures." Rawr! Rawr!
ReplyDeleteShould have been able to tell from that jump shot...creep all the way.
ReplyDeleteSilly kids, er'body know pudgy white dudes ain't got game.
ReplyDeleteOr something.
Also word verification: vagmis
WTF
Epilogue: the janitor ended up buried in the creep's back yard, in several places. Though Taran Noah Smith escaped, he was never heard from again. Richie was never found, as nobody ever bothered to look for him.
ReplyDeletedont you know men are only interested in one thing, boys you gotta get a ring on your finger before you take a finger in your ring
ReplyDeleteThis three-minute video is better than The Lovely Bones. FACT.
ReplyDeleteBOOM!
ReplyDeleteAlso, is there a reason for the green screen use?
Rad can kidnap me anytime
ReplyDeleteThe second he said "Carton world", I was gone.
ReplyDeleteKidnapped, probably.
@Grrg
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth!
Actually I'm taking Rad's side on this one - he probably DID play for the Sonics. It's a well known fact that the entire 1990-1992 starting lineup founded NAMBLA.
ReplyDeletejesus that girl at 2:40 scared the fucking shit out of me, I had to wait until it was daylight outside to watch that part
ReplyDeleteI wanna know if he dissed that janitor in *front* of the kids or after the kids had left, because that little black kid would have been RAGING! Or our "hero" just could be secretly hardcore racist. Votes anyone?
ReplyDeletefucking awesome! love the 90s!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you guys, but I don't think any kidnapper's house is as creepy as Cartonworld.
ReplyDeletePS. Why the HELL would you use green screen for locations you could walk to?
What's the name of this full length safety film? Anyone know?
ReplyDeleteWow he ended up in Return to Zork!!!
ReplyDeleteI would have let Rad have me
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I love this site.
ReplyDelete"Ohhh! Looks like you're in pain!"
ReplyDeleteI know why there is used a green screen in every scene:
ReplyDeleteThe kid has been kidnapped and lives in the basement of the producer.
They are maybe having butsex right now
Boom mic @ 2:13. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThank God for kids.
ReplyDeleteHmm. You would think with a great name like CartonWorld the place would have been more fun.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't molesters as cute as this guy?
ReplyDeleteI really thought he played in the NBA... In fact, i thought he was John Paxson.
ReplyDeleteNancito
Am I completely missing something or is there no mention on this post as to what this video is from?
ReplyDelete- "I have pictures of me with Jordan O'Neil."
ReplyDelete-(Me) "Who the hell is Jordan O'Neil?"
- "Screw this kid, you're not worth it."
-(Me) "Another serial-killer avoided!"
It's the kid from home improvement. The gay one.
ReplyDelete