I wish that real life was like self-defense training videos, so that as soon as I open-handed slapped someone they would fall down in agony, even if they were wearing a motorcycle helmet.
What have we learnt from this video? People who wear their motorcycle helmets in bars/backalleys/when not ON a motorcycle are going to rape/rob/both you.
Y'know, I'd like for these skinny krotty masters to come and do that to me when I'm in the Bar. Even if I drank a fifth of Vodka, they'd still look like John Matua.
Man, I'd like to have Tank Flabbott come on ovah ta Ovahtown Miami. See him try dat shit on me knawmsayin'. I just wanna thump that dude in the skull knawmean. My street fightin' record is 500-0. I gots more knockouts than Hugh Hefner. 305 WUT!
You morons have probably never been in an actual confrontation in your life... Google Paul Vunak.
Also, if you injure someone further than what is necessary and there are witnesses, prepare for jail time... hence the "running" away. You're not as free as you think, to do whatever you want.
Should I admit that I actually bought this video once? It was advertised as some hard core street fighting video. I was disappointed to find that the moves included biting, groin kicks, and running away.
I got some grief off a drunk guy in a bar tonight. All I could think of was "take a boom to the eye", but he didn't have a motorcycle helmet, so I didn't see the point.
I wish that real life was like self-defense training videos, so that as soon as I open-handed slapped someone they would fall down in agony, even if they were wearing a motorcycle helmet.
ReplyDeleteYESSS I WANT SOONER THAN JULY 2nd!
ReplyDeletePLZ I CAN HAS VIDEO?
I could use him as a mustache cleaner.
ReplyDeleteDoes it only work if I say "boom" upon making contact?
ReplyDeleteLet me scratch your cornea. Humanely.
ReplyDeleteWhy are the members of Daft Punk going around and robbing dudes in back alleys?
ReplyDeleteAt least he took his girlfriend with him that one time.
ReplyDeleteI guess these moves were invented before AIDS.
ReplyDeleteBoop.
ReplyDelete"Hey man, you got a problem with my jean shorts?"
ReplyDeleteWhat, no hair pulling or breaking bottles?
ReplyDeleteHey, a Neo-Geo machine!
ReplyDeleteSuper runaway!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I always wear my motorcycle helmet in bars, I've had my cornea scratched one too many times.
ReplyDeleteDude is hopped up on some goofballs!
ReplyDelete0:47 "Boop! I just touched his face."
ReplyDeletePoor Carlos. He just wanted a hug.
ReplyDelete"Poor Carlos. He just wanted a hug."
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of: http://www.everythingisterrible.com/2009/01/do-not-hug-this-man.html
What have we learnt from this video? People who wear their motorcycle helmets in bars/backalleys/when not ON a motorcycle are going to rape/rob/both you.
ReplyDeleteDude is like a real life Steve Brule. He follows every instruction with a "Why didn't you already think of this?" expression.
ReplyDeleteWow, Hall & Oates have really gone in a new direction
ReplyDeleteThis guy is Sifu Paul Vunak. In one of his videos, he shows how to bite someone who attacks you.
ReplyDeleteYou should check out Bas Rutten's self defense videos. Bas likes to hit people with anything he can pick up.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Matt LeBlanc and Michael Medved put out a self defense video!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason the "running away" part of each scenario is totally hilarious.
MASS ATTACK!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's it. Kill that offensive stereotype.
thank you for this valuable public service, i cannot wait to oblique kick somebody.
ReplyDeleteThe mustache grab 'n twist is a good move to try in alot of those situations too.
ReplyDeleteI learned all this from watching the 3 Stooges, man...
ReplyDeleteNow I know what to do the next time an astronaut tries to pick a fight with me.
ReplyDeleteEvery time he runs away I'm reminded of Napoleon Dynamite after his big dance
ReplyDeleteY'know, I'd like for these skinny krotty masters to come and do that to me when I'm in the Bar. Even if I drank a fifth of Vodka, they'd still look like John Matua.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'd like to have Tank Flabbott come on ovah ta Ovahtown Miami. See him try dat shit on me knawmsayin'. I just wanna thump that dude in the skull knawmean. My street fightin' record is 500-0. I gots more knockouts than Hugh Hefner. 305 WUT!
ReplyDeleteYes, getting the hell out of there is an important part of beating the shit out of strangers at bars.
ReplyDeleteI like that he lives in a reality populated with aggressive portly guys in casual dress and lots of motorcycle helmeted thugs.
ReplyDeleteI love how he refers to "The bite" as if its a legitimate fighting move.
ReplyDeleteWhat does he have a black belt in ju-bit-su?
This video should have been called how to fight like a pussy.
You morons have probably never been in an actual confrontation in your life... Google Paul Vunak.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you injure someone further than what is necessary and there are witnesses, prepare for jail time... hence the "running" away. You're not as free as you think, to do whatever you want.
Should I admit that I actually bought this video once? It was advertised as some hard core street fighting video. I was disappointed to find that the moves included biting, groin kicks, and running away.
ReplyDelete0:31
ReplyDelete"It's like you have a gun, instead of BOOM! Shooting it in the face you bang him on the head with it."
ReplyDeleteI got some grief off a drunk guy in a bar tonight. All I could think of was "take a boom to the eye", but he didn't have a motorcycle helmet, so I didn't see the point.
ReplyDeleteThe bite: "Give me your money! Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh"
ReplyDeleteDid he steal a pool ball at one point?
ReplyDelete