the only reason it's ok for any of the people in this video to wear the hairstyles or clothes they're sporting is because they ONLY have to worry about whether god likes them - not if they can get dates. because ol' spots cut into hair or yellow glasses could not get dates. hopefully.
As a former Christian, the dude with the tall black hair talking about God "blasting" Adam with his lover is factually incorrect. Even though The Bible is complete bull, at least have the decency not to lie about what's inside. Read me the passage where God blasted Adam with anything. Also, where did Cain get his wife from?
God and I were fine while we dated, but then I wanted to see other deities and He got all stalkerish on me, so I got a restaining order and am currently seeing Satan.
"Every year I felt like God was asking me to recommit to him for another year."
How old does the host want them to be before they start dating humans??? The guy saying the above quote needs as much time as possible to find mates. Lay off of those poor, trusting kids!!!
If we refer to God as He...and there are a bunch of guys on this video saying that they dated God...that would make both them AND God gay, right? Wow, that would make the "religious" conservatives' heads freaking EXPLODE, haha!
So if I dated God, and God is Jesus, but Jesus is the son of God...then I'm Jesus' dad and also his lover, while also being his father's spouse, meaning I'm Jesus' mother, which makes me Mary, and thus I'm a virgin, in which case I couldn't have dated God at all 'cause he's rough in the sack.
I think it would be intimidating to date God. It would be all: God: "What did you do today?" Me: "I walked the dog, finished up a project at work, made a salad. How about you?" God: "I oversaw every event in the infinite universe." Me: "Um..."
When I was in college I tried pursuing a girl who was of the attitude of this video. It was the most frustrating, Sisyphean endeavor of my college days.
5 seconds into this clip i could tell it was going to be Christian cornball ... OK worshiping a God makes sense for the religious type ... but dating God??
the only reason it's ok for any of the people in this video to wear the hairstyles or clothes they're sporting is because they ONLY have to worry about whether god likes them - not if they can get dates. because ol' spots cut into hair or yellow glasses could not get dates. hopefully.
ReplyDeleteExactly how is God different from a stupid teenager anyway?
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't know about anyone else but that had the most God porn I've ever seen. Frankly, I'm a lil turned on.
ReplyDeleteAfter God blasted me with his love, it took a while to wipe off.
ReplyDeleteKinda creepy to learn that God is going around dating underaged kids. I mean he's like old...really old.
ReplyDeleteSince when did Erik Estrada start hosting Christian teen dating shows?
ReplyDeleteAs a former Christian, the dude with the tall black hair talking about God "blasting" Adam with his lover is factually incorrect. Even though The Bible is complete bull, at least have the decency not to lie about what's inside. Read me the passage where God blasted Adam with anything. Also, where did Cain get his wife from?
ReplyDeleteSo what they're saying is that God is not only a player, but a bisexual player?
ReplyDeleteThat crazy God! Romantically loving men and women at the same time.
"Love Blasters" by NERF
ReplyDelete....I love this idea.
Or maybe I just had some pizza or something.
I think I gave that guy in the shades a blow job last week.
ReplyDeleteim still a little sore after that last blasting. god i hope u dont mind if we take a little break.
ReplyDeleteDoes God satisfy me sexually?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I want to wait a year to find out.
Tried the whole dating God thing for a couple of weeks, but come on! God never payed for anything!
ReplyDeleteWe need to throw a bunch of science at this to understand how do people end up so fucking insane.
ReplyDeletei bet they cant wait for the cumming of the lord
ReplyDeletehaaa
I gave myself to god, and now he never calls...
ReplyDeletemaybe i should date god, apparently he's HUGE
ReplyDeletethis video made me gay for god.
ReplyDeleteI just ejaculated from watching this video. True story.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel like God blasted us all in the butt before he left with that benevolent smile of his.
ReplyDeleteis god's love blast sticky?
ReplyDeleteGod and I were fine while we dated, but then I wanted to see other deities and He got all stalkerish on me, so I got a restaining order and am currently seeing Satan.
ReplyDeletethere is so much blasting going on here it's really making me reconsider my marriage.
ReplyDeleteLet God blast you......
ReplyDeleteHey if you like being hit by lightning, so be it......
I'd totally let god finger blast me.
ReplyDelete"Every year I felt like God was asking me to recommit to him for another year."
ReplyDeleteHow old does the host want them to be before they start dating humans??? The guy saying the above quote needs as much time as possible to find mates. Lay off of those poor, trusting kids!!!
If we refer to God as He...and there are a bunch of guys on this video saying that they dated God...that would make both them AND God gay, right? Wow, that would make the "religious" conservatives' heads freaking EXPLODE, haha!
ReplyDeleteI'm more interested in the body of Christ, thanks though!
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey I want to be in "God"s harem sign me up
ReplyDeleteSo if I dated God, and God is Jesus, but Jesus is the son of God...then I'm Jesus' dad and also his lover, while also being his father's spouse, meaning I'm Jesus' mother, which makes me Mary, and thus I'm a virgin, in which case I couldn't have dated God at all 'cause he's rough in the sack.
ReplyDeleteAnd then God blasted Adam with his love - HA HA HA
ReplyDeleteI blasted god with my love in public and now I can't get within 200 meters of a school or playground :(
ReplyDeleteIs that Glenn Beck at the start?! Seriously, is it?
ReplyDeleteI think it would be intimidating to date God. It would be all:
ReplyDeleteGod: "What did you do today?"
Me: "I walked the dog, finished up a project at work, made a salad. How about you?"
God: "I oversaw every event in the infinite universe."
Me: "Um..."
God better get home and do my fuckin laundry. AND IF DINNER ISN"T WAITING FOR ME.. WHY I OUUTTAAA.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college, I had a one-night stand with this girl, then she brushed me off by saying she wanted to "date God" for awhile.
ReplyDeleteNow I understand...I guess she watched this video when she was a kid!
Hey, the fat kid who can only score dates with God is wearing a Bleach t-shirt.
ReplyDelete...tell me I'm not the only person who knows who that is/was.
I want God to blast me with his love.
ReplyDeleteAll over my face.
What I always wondered was why, when they were all cast out of the garden, was there already a huge society?
ReplyDeleteGod is a homewrecker
ReplyDeleteI am a criticall christian, and I love this site here, but this Vid is ok, it shows also my life with christ.
ReplyDeletego one... make fun of me.
I dated God once and it was terrible.
ReplyDeleteAll he talked about was how great he was and how he was dating this over guy.
I dumped his ass right then and there/
please tell us where you got the footage for the first few seconds with the Glenn Beck-looking guy. The world really needs to see that in full.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college I tried pursuing a girl who was of the attitude of this video. It was the most frustrating, Sisyphean endeavor of my college days.
ReplyDelete5 seconds into this clip i could tell it was going to be Christian cornball ... OK worshiping a God makes sense for the religious type ... but dating God??
ReplyDelete