I would have posted the whole song, but unless you're really high, it kinda drags on. Anyway, this buried treasure is from a Christian public access show from the 80's hosted by a man named Captain Hook. The Cap'n's story is a bit sad however. He was a biker from Indiana and lived life fast, until one day he lost a leg and an arm after wiping out on his chopper. He became a born again that very same day, and before his death had a 20 year career in television. The good news is that his show is supposedly still being broadcast in certain parts of the country, and lived the end of his days in sunny Hawaii, sippin' on non-alcoholic mai-tai's...
Monday, June 30, 2008
A PIRATE RAP? JUST FOR ME?
I would have posted the whole song, but unless you're really high, it kinda drags on. Anyway, this buried treasure is from a Christian public access show from the 80's hosted by a man named Captain Hook. The Cap'n's story is a bit sad however. He was a biker from Indiana and lived life fast, until one day he lost a leg and an arm after wiping out on his chopper. He became a born again that very same day, and before his death had a 20 year career in television. The good news is that his show is supposedly still being broadcast in certain parts of the country, and lived the end of his days in sunny Hawaii, sippin' on non-alcoholic mai-tai's...Sunday, June 29, 2008
A TERRIBLE DEAL
What kind of asshole bear takes a bite out of every brownie before selling it? Can't you get hepatitis from bear saliva?
THIS AIN'T YOUR DADDY'S RECYCLING VIDEO
Recycling has a whole new look, buster.
Oh, and just in case you didn't hate Billy Joel enough...
Oh, and just in case you didn't hate Billy Joel enough...
Thursday, June 26, 2008
HEY, SATAN! WANNA PLAY?
Okay, this clip is awesome for so many reasons. It really isn't 'terrible' at all. It's really just horrifying. Here's what I like about it.
1. The kids speak to the devil as if he is their new best friend, even though he sounds like Thom Yorke crying through a low pass filter-sweep.
2. At 1:51, the girl looks like she's about to light an apple to smoke out of.
3. Mark Twain doesn't give a fuck about those kids, and he just stands there and thinks while they enter hell.
4. No child could watch this and not cry. I almost did.
1. The kids speak to the devil as if he is their new best friend, even though he sounds like Thom Yorke crying through a low pass filter-sweep.
2. At 1:51, the girl looks like she's about to light an apple to smoke out of.
3. Mark Twain doesn't give a fuck about those kids, and he just stands there and thinks while they enter hell.
4. No child could watch this and not cry. I almost did.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
IF THESE DOGS COULD TALK
July is Talking Dogs Month at EIT, and I can't help but celebrate a little bit early. Enjoy...
Obviously, thanks to the geniuses at Future Schlock for the anti-drug bit.
Obviously, thanks to the geniuses at Future Schlock for the anti-drug bit.
Friday, June 20, 2008
HAS ANYTHING CHANGED?
Just in case anyone thinks I, Ghoul Skool, cannot also be terrible, well... Take a look at this...
I am no better than anyone.
I am no better than anyone.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
LITTLE RICHIE FLIPS HIS LID!
Making fun of Richard Simmons is sort of like complaining about Bush. They're both completely insane, and anything you say about either if them ends with your friend going 'Yeah, no doi.' But after all is said and done, you can't wait to see either of those koo-koo birds screw up. So, until Bush goes down with a bang, here's this!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
SO LONG, BO
It's a little late, but this one goes out to the late, great Bo Diddley. We forgive you, sir.
THE COMMODORE SAYS GOODBYE
I just thought I'd let all you lil EIT-ers out there in Terrible Land know that I am going to be taking a month long vacation from our crappy little blog. I'm having brain surgery. Here's a few more bad 80's commercials for the road.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
MATH GETS YOU LAID
It's True. Math gets you the love and affection of second rate pop-stars. Does anyone know the quadratic formula of my boner? Hello!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
ME & MY CREEPY LITTLE SHADOWS
Phil Donahue dances the night away with a gang of Mini Donahue-Bots created specifically for his pleasure.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
RIGHT ON!
Retro Bill is down with the kids. He knows our style, our attitude, our way of life. Cool!
Friday, June 06, 2008
MAGUIRE WATCH! STAGE 1
EIT presents 'Maguire Watch.' Anytime you see more than 4 copies of Jerry Maguire at a thrift or used video store, take a photo and add it to the pile. I have a feeling this could either go nowhere, or blow up. So please, have those camera phones ready, people (or Joel).
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT KIDS.
Send 'em to war. Hell, I was smart enough to live through Desert Storm trading cards.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
NICE FACE
Are we just creating pop stars using 'The Sims' now? I don't know who this guy is, but he gives me the case of the creeps.
Monday, June 02, 2008
COME VISIT HELL.
This is the video that Satan mails to the elderly to convince them to move to central Florida.
3 MORE FROM THE ROTTEN BOWELS OF 1980's ADVERTISING
Fresh breath! Just like plants have!
I'm glad the Marines are trying to keep young people from dying. It is very nice of them.
The Mighty Mouth
I'm glad the Marines are trying to keep young people from dying. It is very nice of them.
The Mighty Mouth
Sunday, June 01, 2008
COMMODORE GILGAMESH PRESENTS THE KLASSIC KOMMERCIAL KOLLECTION #1
What the fuck does he mean by 'you people?'
A shout out to the drab existence of the OH!
Finally, a watch that is a ring and a ring that is a watch! What'll LA come up with next?
A shout out to the drab existence of the OH!
Finally, a watch that is a ring and a ring that is a watch! What'll LA come up with next?