I love pyramid schemers and multi-level marketing moguls. They're not entirely evil people because they have good intentions (at least at first) and they merely take advantage of a discreet human flaw. We all think we deserve absolutely everything without having to work for it.
Man, I want a seminar that tells me to be happy with what I have.
I went to this guy's spiel at the local Holiday Inn when I was a college student. It took the whole first half of the day before you even found out it was about selling vitamins. The celebrity endorsement was some has been country singer - I forget which one.
The real secret to furthering your pyramid scheme seminar is to make them raise their hands every few minutes so they feel special - and stop thinking about how much of a douchebag you sound like.
I have no problems working for people with less educational history than I, but I can't take seriously a scrawny douche in a baggy business suit (note: not tailored) saying, "I CAN HAZ $200000 LOOK AT ME!!!" who proudly admits dropping out of high school. Do you even have your GED, nutsack?
a college drop-out who ran 20 companies, was he a money launderer? Or did they just collapse into failure like series of dominos, as I imagine this one did
I must say, the guy has a very soothing voice. Like, I might pay $50 or whatever to listen to him talk all day and get breakfast and lunch. Actually I'd probably sign up for his scam because I'm an idiot.
sometimes you even get a free , upscale motel room to go along with that free food. To be honest if you wanted to live off of these sharks..you probably could at least a few weeks out of the year. Now who's laughing?
I would like to see this piece further edited, repeatedly utilizing the nude Seinfeld impersonator footage, from "Wildly Speculative Celebrity Sex Secrets."
Ahh Amway International. I've actually been to one of these before. The person sounded EXACTLY like this guy. Totally programmed. There's no hope for this man.
So horny
ReplyDeleteAnd lo, they descended upon Winchester, that place off of 81.
ReplyDeleteApparently Successful People walk like they have the shits and the restroom is on the other side of the building.
ReplyDeleteHow to get rich:
ReplyDelete1) Charge a bunch of people to attend your get rich seminar.
2) That is all.
Pyramid Scheme ... 2 the EXTREEEME!
ReplyDeleteaaaaaarrrgh!! He never identified the "celebrity" behind the endorsement; I was so ready for an Ed Begley Jr appearance.
ReplyDeleteSKILLFUNCTIONAL!
ReplyDeleteI love pyramid schemers and multi-level marketing moguls. They're not entirely evil people because they have good intentions (at least at first) and they merely take advantage of a discreet human flaw. We all think we deserve absolutely everything without having to work for it.
ReplyDeleteMan, I want a seminar that tells me to be happy with what I have.
whoever invented the original pyramid scheme is one of the smartest people who ever lived
ReplyDeletepeople will NEVER stop falling for that shit
I went to this guy's spiel at the local Holiday Inn when I was a college student. It took the whole first half of the day before you even found out it was about selling vitamins. The celebrity endorsement was some has been country singer - I forget which one.
ReplyDelete"And sometimes I like to follow them out to their cars."
ReplyDelete"Yeah, yeah.....
ReplyDeleteBreakfast.. Lunch...."
It's his mathematics that I'm stickin' around for..
1+ 1 really could equal 20000
"...Go ahead, prove him wrong"
The real secret to furthering your pyramid scheme seminar is to make them raise their hands every few minutes so they feel special - and stop thinking about how much of a douchebag you sound like.
ReplyDeleteI have no problems working for people with less educational history than I, but I can't take seriously a scrawny douche in a baggy business suit (note: not tailored) saying, "I CAN HAZ $200000 LOOK AT ME!!!" who proudly admits dropping out of high school. Do you even have your GED, nutsack?
ReplyDeletea college drop-out who ran 20 companies, was he a money launderer? Or did they just collapse into failure like series of dominos, as I imagine this one did
ReplyDeleteIt would be so funny to visit one of those upscale malls, and see all the "successful people" stomping forward in constipated temper tantrum.
ReplyDeletethese old infomercials are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's legit when there is a Skipper in the audience.
ReplyDeleteHe's like an evil Jerry Seinfeld
ReplyDeleteHe invented it. Whatever "it" is.
ReplyDeleteSkillfunctional? More like skilltarded.
ReplyDeleteAmirite?
I must say, the guy has a very soothing voice. Like, I might pay $50 or whatever to listen to him talk all day and get breakfast and lunch. Actually I'd probably sign up for his scam because I'm an idiot.
ReplyDeletesometimes you even get a free , upscale motel room to go along with that free food. To be honest if you wanted to live off of these sharks..you probably could at least a few weeks out of the year. Now who's laughing?
ReplyDeleteI would like to see this piece further edited, repeatedly utilizing the nude Seinfeld impersonator footage, from "Wildly Speculative Celebrity Sex Secrets."
ReplyDeleteWas it wrong of me to have imagined the host nude the entire time he was talking?
ReplyDeleteAhh Amway International. I've actually been to one of these before. The person sounded EXACTLY like this guy. Totally programmed. There's no hope for this man.
ReplyDelete