Follow the Princess Gwendolyn and her dog, Peeper, through the Magic Door of Wishes and Dreams and down the Pretty Pink Pathway into a terribly sad reality of gender role identification and cake.
The problem with princess parties is that you always have to worry about an uprising. My sister ended up getting decapitated at her princess party. The guests stuck her head on a pole and paraded down the street. The neighbors were pretty freaked out.
Being fake royalty isn't as easy as it used to be.
Children, Princess Gwendolyn put a special treat in all our cupcakes! Yes, it's quaaludes, so Princess Gwendoloyn can go back to her condo and pass out on the futon before she can contemplate putting a fucking gun in her mouth! Someone has to feed Peepers, children.
The woman has a bloody website! With singing and colouring pages. Seriously, you can even hire her for an event (who would want to do THAT?) and buy the princess party DVD. Just google it, it's awful.
1)vagina door 2)creepy rape-voice narrator 3)i was half expecting the goodie bag scene to go something like this: "a mirror, candy jewelry, makeup, nailpolish, bubbles, xanax!"
God, I made it two and a half minutes into that thing before I was ready to puke. And, once the relentless pretty pink girlie girl gender stereotyping sank in, ready to cry. Dammit, any future little girl of mine is having a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" themed birthday party and she better like it.
Book a real life princess! Themed party games, professional singing, face painting and 5* reviews. Princess parties across the UK, London and Home Counties. miami princess party
No iPhone in the goody bag? Poor kid is gonna get brutalized in school the next day
ReplyDeleteYum, cake.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Princess Gwendolyn had some special grown-up vitamins in her goody bag.
Sounds like Princess Gwendolyn had a stroke ... and then escaped from a minimum security prison.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with princess parties is that you always have to worry about an uprising. My sister ended up getting decapitated at her princess party. The guests stuck her head on a pole and paraded down the street. The neighbors were pretty freaked out.
ReplyDeleteBeing fake royalty isn't as easy as it used to be.
Can I just say how concerned I am at that man's laugh?
ReplyDeleteHuh.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably what I'm going to end up doing if grad school doesn't work out. It's like gazing into the DARK, GLITTERY FUTURE.
Anyone else bothered by the fact that the Magic Door of Wishes and Dreams leads directly into a vagina?
ReplyDeleteIs the narrator the same dude from "A Christmas Story"? Voice is reminiscent of the narrator from that flick, and the intonations sound very similar..
ReplyDeleteWorst castle eveRRRRRRRRR!
ReplyDeleteStephen, I thought the same thing! Even some of the background music sounded similar at times...
ReplyDeleteAnd also, why were the parents filling the goodie bags with dirt? They never explained that...
Dad's filling bags with dirt.
ReplyDeleteI find the laughing at 2:14 excessive. And do I really have to let that dog in my house?
ReplyDeleteI've been a follower of your blog almost since the beginning, and in my humble opinion, this is the Holy Grail of terrible videos.
ReplyDeleteA job well done, though I don't know if you'll ever be able to find one that tops this.
i would die if i was married to someone like her..
ReplyDeleteno no, she would she would die horribly
Children, Princess Gwendolyn put a special treat in all our cupcakes! Yes, it's quaaludes, so Princess Gwendoloyn can go back to her condo and pass out on the futon before she can contemplate putting a fucking gun in her mouth! Someone has to feed Peepers, children.
ReplyDeleteThe woman has a bloody website! With singing and colouring pages. Seriously, you can even hire her for an event (who would want to do THAT?)
ReplyDeleteand buy the princess party DVD.
Just google it, it's awful.
This video made me beg for death. And I blame Tams for my having searched out the website. My eyes and ears are bleeding.
ReplyDelete1)vagina door
ReplyDelete2)creepy rape-voice narrator
3)i was half expecting the goodie bag scene to go something like this:
"a mirror, candy jewelry, makeup, nailpolish, bubbles, xanax!"
This video makes me want a candy lipstick, damnit :[
ReplyDeleteGod, I made it two and a half minutes into that thing before I was ready to puke. And, once the relentless pretty pink girlie girl gender stereotyping sank in, ready to cry. Dammit, any future little girl of mine is having a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" themed birthday party and she better like it.
ReplyDeleteWhy does the Magical door of wishes and dreams lead into a vagina?
ReplyDeleteI'm just trying to figure out how long it takes to cover an entire fucking house in paper stars.
ReplyDeleteI might be late to the uh..party here but
ReplyDeletethat girl dosent seem to want to follow(dad?)
into that room.
Book a real life princess! Themed party games, professional singing, face painting and 5* reviews. Princess parties across the UK, London and Home Counties. miami princess party
ReplyDeleteSounds like Princess Gwendolyn had some special grown-up vitamins in her goody bag. party princess
ReplyDeleteYour blog is very useful for us and i love your topic mentioned in blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you
kids party entertainment