This video suuuuure would look good under the tree.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
CBS CARES ABOUT YOUR PROSTATE
And remember, HIV tests make for fabulous Valentine's Day presents. Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 22, 2008
WHEN MACHO MEN RULED THE EARTH
Even when wrestlers were trying to look as tough as possible back then, their theme songs make the Jonas Brothers look like GG Allin.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
FLIRTING WITH MAGIC
I'll let the testimonials from the back of the box handle this:
"What a great way to meet chicks!" - Bob - Single, 25
"Your magic tricks blew me away!" - Cathy - Single, 30 Something
"After my divorce, my social skills needed help; your flirting course did the trick!" - Barry - Divorced, 45
No....I'm not a weirdo.
"What a great way to meet chicks!" - Bob - Single, 25
"Your magic tricks blew me away!" - Cathy - Single, 30 Something
"After my divorce, my social skills needed help; your flirting course did the trick!" - Barry - Divorced, 45
No....I'm not a weirdo.
FUTURE SCHLOCK IN EXILE NO MORE!
Ok, we have a new Youtube account and we're working on uploading everything to Vimeo too in case something like this happens again. All the videos should be playable now, with the exception of "The Gay Agenda," which is a troublemaker so it will stay down for now. If you see any broken links we missed, please let us know in the comments and they will be fixed.
Here's an oldie but a goodie, one of the videos that inspired us to get into this crazy game: Click Clack Raps.
Now let us never speak of this ordeal again.
Here's an oldie but a goodie, one of the videos that inspired us to get into this crazy game: Click Clack Raps.
Now let us never speak of this ordeal again.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
EXPOSING THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA
Oppressing other people to cover up your own sexual insecurities is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
For the record, this video does not reflect the views of Future Schlock. We think these homophobes are insane assholes, too.
UPDATE: Sorry, this video is TOO HOT for the internet.
For the record, this video does not reflect the views of Future Schlock. We think these homophobes are insane assholes, too.
UPDATE: Sorry, this video is TOO HOT for the internet.
Monday, December 15, 2008
GOING ON A MAN HUNT!
This video teaches the ancient, desperate art of hunting the elusive creature known as man.
For more info, please purchase twelve audio cassettes.
For more info, please purchase twelve audio cassettes.
Friday, December 12, 2008
WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE
When a Mentor D.A.R.E. officer makes a rock opera, this is what happens...
And yes, that's Cleveland's own Li'l John popping pills.
And yes, that's Cleveland's own Li'l John popping pills.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
MANDROIDS, CAVEMEN, KUNG FU AND INDIANA JONES...
...Eliminators has it all.
Thanks to Ghoul Skool for the tip.
UPDATE: Because no mere snippet of Eliminators can do it proper justice, some beautiful soul has uploaded the entire movie.
Thanks to Ghoul Skool for the tip.
UPDATE: Because no mere snippet of Eliminators can do it proper justice, some beautiful soul has uploaded the entire movie.
MONSTER TRUCK OF VENGEANCE
The only way to get revenge on a family of murderous rednecks is to build a kick ass truck.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
GOD BLESS THE NON-BELIEVERS...
...for without them, Christians would stop making videos like these.
An ex-biker pirate performs an autopsy for kids from the same kids show as "God is Not a Child Abuser."
No suicide pact will stop Freedom Village USA:
An ex-biker pirate performs an autopsy for kids from the same kids show as "God is Not a Child Abuser."
No suicide pact will stop Freedom Village USA:
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
LEARN HIP HOP DANCE FROM A CROSSDRESSING POWER RANGER!
It was nice of the producers to make the black guy the Black Ranger and the Asian girl the Yellow Ranger. It makes it easier for racists to tell them apart.
Also the Red Ranger (who really should have been Native American for consistency) dances just like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
RICHARD SIMMONS & THE SILVER FOXES
Would you like to exercise with your favorite celebrities' parents? How about with Richard Simmons in blackface? How about both?
PAGE 34!
I am sorry to present this clip with all the censorship and boobage, but this one has always been a personal favorite...
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
BLOGGIO SAVED THE VIDEO STARS
Just when we thought no one cared, an onslaught of blogs have been so awesome in helping us spread the word. And the word is 'terrible.' So, thanks everyone and welcome home.