For some reason, I feel the need to seek medical help immediately. When I have kids they will be restrained 24/7, except for twenty minutes of exercise in the rubber room!
how out of work was martin short when he made this video? i mean, this wasn't really during a dry period, was it? did someone call in a favor, or was he just really dryly passionate about baby safety? also, it seems that he wants to punch the doctor in the face.
He has to keep the stereo high up and out of reach? If the kids can't play with the stereo, how will they ever learn how to be cool or play air guitar?
Children who listen to Mozart go on to dislike Mozart, but children who blast grunge rock grow up to be adults. It's a scientific fact. Do you want your children's growth to be stunted?
Good god, as if I needed more reasons NOT to have offspring. Kids will eat cat shit, too, if given the chance, but I'm not putting THAT in the cupboard!
What is the doctor thinking? That pin is deadly too! It's tiny enough to be swallowed or inhaled by a baby or child, and the pin could cause serious internal bleeding or death.
On one of those "Mystery Diagnosis" shows, there was a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a push-pin and nearly died from massive internal bleeding in a lung.
Looks like he pulled the old "camoflage-the-medicine-cabinet" trick to make it safer for the children. You know what they say, "What they can't find can't harm them." Good work.
Somehow I think that when the doctor says he's seen children drown to death. He means it literally, like he stood by and watched them die.
Seriously though my mother had a cousin die from inhaling a balloon. As a result she always freaks out at parties where kids and balloons are involved. It's a really party buzz.
For some reason, I feel the need to seek medical help immediately. When I have kids they will be restrained 24/7, except for twenty minutes of exercise in the rubber room!
ReplyDeleteI already learned how dangerous a stray balloon can be, thanks to Volume 4 of the Qualatex Balloon Network Curriculum Series.
ReplyDeleteSurely that pin given for safe household could fall off, allowing the baby to put it in his mouth?
ReplyDeleteThat should be locked away in a cupboard immediately!
This house is so dangerous, I must say, I must sayyy.
ReplyDeleteThe real danger was lurking in the bathroom. What the hell kind of wallpaper was that? Zebra Douche?
ALPHA-BITS!! I WANT ALPHA-BITS NOW!!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a buzzkill :(
ReplyDeleteSo when you have ketchup baby, call a doctor immediately. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWHY IS THERE A TELEPHONE IN THE BATHROOM
ReplyDeletehttp://www.babyproofernewyork.com/
ReplyDeleteIs that Martin Short?
ReplyDeletehow out of work was martin short when he made this video? i mean, this wasn't really during a dry period, was it? did someone call in a favor, or was he just really dryly passionate about baby safety?
ReplyDeletealso, it seems that he wants to punch the doctor in the face.
He has to keep the stereo high up and out of reach? If the kids can't play with the stereo, how will they ever learn how to be cool or play air guitar?
ReplyDeleteChildren who listen to Mozart go on to dislike Mozart, but children who blast grunge rock grow up to be adults. It's a scientific fact. Do you want your children's growth to be stunted?
That sun looks oddly pleased that he has given a child sunstroke.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Analgass....
ReplyDeleteMore ALPHA-BITS!!
NOW!
Martin Short is awesome! haha
ReplyDeleteGood god, as if I needed more reasons NOT to have offspring. Kids will eat cat shit, too, if given the chance, but I'm not putting THAT in the cupboard!
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, that guy has seen a lot of kids die.
ReplyDeleteI guess this means i should remove the hot bed of coals laying in the babys den then?
ReplyDeletethose alpha bits don't have marshmallows in them so WHAT THE HELLS THE POINT
ReplyDeleteWhat is the doctor thinking? That pin is deadly too! It's tiny enough to be swallowed or inhaled by a baby or child, and the pin could cause serious internal bleeding or death.
ReplyDeleteOn one of those "Mystery Diagnosis" shows, there was a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a push-pin and nearly died from massive internal bleeding in a lung.
Looks like he pulled the old "camoflage-the-medicine-cabinet" trick to make it safer for the children. You know what they say, "What they can't find can't harm them." Good work.
ReplyDeletehow much longer before Martin Short punched his lights out and then force fed him the peanuts, buttons and balloon before throwing him in the pool!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I think that when the doctor says he's seen children drown to death. He means it literally, like he stood by and watched them die.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though my mother had a cousin die from inhaling a balloon. As a result she always freaks out at parties where kids and balloons are involved. It's a really party buzz.