LESLIE NIELSEN'S HEART OF DARKNESS

A little backstory: his character has been a huge racist asshole to everyone throughout the entire movie and he had his shirt on up to this point. Also the hole in the ozone layer is making everything go violently insane.
Enjoy.

PUFF PUFF GIVE GIVE, OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS...

These li'l nuggs almost make me want to put down the pipe and become a snitch.

Thanks to Marah for this one...


And this wiener is being 'scapegoated' by the Federal Government for his chain of marijuana dispensaries in Southern California. I guess he cannot 'handle his business, damn.'

THUNDER IN PARADISE

BONER-SLAYING

If these douche sacs aren't a sign that sex has negative consequences, I don't know what is.


And now, for you hiphopsters out there...

12 DAYS OF ZOOPHILIA

An artist has sex with his many weimaraners for the sake of his weiner.

THAT LASTED FIVE MINUTES (OR: GIVE ME A BREAK!)

I think I've posted this before, but maybe not; it really doesn't matter either way. I recommend watching on loop until you feel sorry for Mr. Stossel... (Hint: You never do!)

I'VE READ A LOT OF SCRIPTS OVER THE YEARS...

YOU MAY BE SLOW...

... but I'm not.

VITA-MIX

"Catch the vision"

DADDY ON BABY ACTION

Hey dude, in the 90's dads can totally use their babies as dumbbells. That's right ladies, those adorably squirmy lil' free weights aren't just for mommies any more.

NO BEING GAY.

This is the intro graphics and a scene from No More Baths!, which is a heartwarming story about a group of kids who learn the lessons of the Montgomery bus boycott and then fight injustice/tyranny. Do they save their homophobic tree house club? Well, you'll have to borrow No More Baths! from me to find out.

THOSE WERE DIFFERENT TIMES...

Tolkien once said "Most English-speaking people...will admit that cellar door is 'beautiful.' And he was right, 'cellar door' does sound quite pretty. The only thing is, I think by 'cellar' he meant 'Showbiz,' and by 'door' he meant 'Pizza.' I love these next two pieces so much because they represent to me what was beautiful about this country in the 1980's: Capitalism, polite racism, pizza, awkwardness, stupidity, horror, and wolves.

So please enjoy these next two nuggets, for me they they really sum up everything EIT stands for...

VOMIT, 1945

SLEEP CENTER OF THE SOUTHWEST

NICE NAME, FAGOT

No, that's not a typo.

NO-BODY'S-HOOOOME

Marah sent me this little gem, and for that I owe her my life.

THE TERROR THAT IS "HORROR"

I first saw this movie during a Horror Film Festival in Columbus. It was a fitting venue considering that this movie covers all the sub-genres within the first 30 minutes. More to come...

I ALWAYS WONDERED WHERE YOUR MANDIBULA WAS...

...So that I can kick you in it.


Here is his MySpace page. Yeah.

NOT TERRIBLE, JUST WONDERFUL

I don't care if it's old news. Patches really is the coolest horse. The first half is great, but the last two thirds make Black Beauty look like a galloping jackass.

So please, don't say neeeeiigh to Patches...

FURRY CON!

APRIL IS FURRY MONTH AT EIT!

If you had to choose, which one would you fuck: Gerbert or Howard The Duck?

CHINA TEACHES A LESSON

I was planning on doing a re-edit of this entire movie, but either my tape or VCR fucked up... so hopefully there'll be more to come from China O'Brien, played, of course, by The Ultimate Weapon, Cynthia Rothrock.

I GOTTA GET MY MUSIC OUT THERE...

FOR MY 216 CREW...

THE WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

KENNY ROGERS IN A SERIES OF SENSELESS CUTS TO STILL FRAMES

LOOK WHO WON'T SHUT UP.

DEEP IN THE WOODS OF SOUTHEAST OHIO, TERROR LURKS...

If Burning Man doesn't work out, there's always "The Gathering"...



This video was acquired from the Wire in Athens, OH and came with a warning from the "Rainbow Bureau of Investigation" informing the viewer that none of the material was copyrighted. Not that I usually give a shit about copyright warnings, but thanks for not harshing my buzz, hippies. One love, I guess.